Plans Changed

I told Matt I wanted him to be like Joe because Joe was leaving. Joe isn't leaving. Matt doesn't need to try to care anymore. We ended up on the topic of my father, the one who I grew up with. He offered to 'talk about it' but I said no. I don't wanna talk about anything. Well, sorta. But not that. Not today. Not with Matt. So, right after that nice little experience we had a leadership team meeting. Right after church. More to come on that later. That is a whole different post. Man do I have thoughts and feelings on that one. ANYWAY... we were in the meeting and Gregg asked about what people thought he should talk about at Vertical to be more relevant. *props to Gregg for at least asking* So, of course, Marley had to bring up our small group and fatherlessness. And how he should talk about that because she knows the girls in her small group need to really understand the love of God as a father bla bla bla. She was looking right at me. ME. And then after looking right at me Matt turned around and high fived her. Right after our stupid almost talk. What the heck. The MOST sensitive subject with me lately has been that. I have no clue why, but it has. And all this happened. I seriously almost cried. I almost got up and walked out because I thought I was going to cry. It was bad.